Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Interesting reward for dating advice

Let it be known that in my nicer (and younger) years, I used to be a dating coach. Between the creepy and often psychologically damaged clients, and the over saturated market in the late 2000's, it wasn't something I decided to stick with. Needless to say, I still find myself in the position of giving both men and women dating advice ("Dating advice" essentially translating to "information to expedite the process of getting the opposite sex into bed").

The thing was, even when the pay was good (and the clients not  irreparably damaged) there were no fringe benefits to being a pickup instructor. In fact, it was all fringe DISADVANTAGES - guys creeping out the girls you are talking to, girls boyfriends trying to punch them out, taking up time you could be spending with friends/girlfriend working, waking up at 2 pm every day from being out all night. The only positive was the ego gratification of helping people, which was often was not possible. Sounds fun, doesn't it?

So yesterday I find myself in a car with an older (Mid 40's) female friend of my families. We're talking about her kids (both roughly around my age), and the discussion turns to me and my lifestyle. So I proceed to tell her a bit about my multiple relationships, never getting married, and imminent vasectomy. She tells me how girls these days are crazy, and not fit for relationships, and agreeing that my lifestyle is currently the best option (her son is doing something similar). While I was smirking to myself about yet another female admitting females are predominantly mentally unstable and moral invalids, she drops the "What do you think I should do to find a man?" question.


What do I tell her? 40's dating is WAY beyond my scope  of experience. Should I unload feel goo platitudes, or crush her under the weight of rational hopelessness?

Doing a quick assessment of my options, words begin to flow out of my mouth uninvited - "What I look for in a woman of any age, is someone who is going to make our time together easy for me. No guy wants to be around a girl who gives him constant shit, and dumps her issues on him.When a woman is pleasant to be around, it becomes an easy transition adding her into his life - the easiest way for him to say yes is not give him any reasons to say no."

I think we were both pretty surprised by that. Certainly, she appeared to be thinking it over and came to some sort of internal agreement, thanking me. She dropped me off at the mechanics, and gave me the keys to her car. $500 for a 2000 Volvo S70 with 144,00 km. $600 for the safety. My ticket to getting the hell out of this redneck hole!

Note to self - be nice to women over 30. They have good jobs and are happy to reward the  kindness of younger men!

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